imawanchor: today a 15 year old girl won a gold medal in the olympics and i woke up at half one in the afternoon and stayed sat in the same spot for 6 hours
herspanic: please don’t leave me alone with your parents if i’m at your house
no one ever lets me give them a piggyback ride they’re just like “i might break you” no you foolish mortal i have the strength of a thousand horses please, place yourself upon my back
satans-testicle: Half of life is fucking up, the other half is dealing with it.
methlabrador: in 3 short years kids who were born in 2000 will be 15 and that is the most horrifying thing ive realized in a long long time
i’m weird ok but when i say i’m weird i don’t mean like your cute and quirky girlfriend i mean fucking weird
there’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants
annoying person: you need anger management classes
me: you need shut the fuck up classes
Speaking 2 languages in a sentence because you're...